


Lost and Insecure, you found me.

by ticktockriveranddoctor



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 17:51:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ticktockriveranddoctor/pseuds/ticktockriveranddoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He found her, another minute and she might not have been alive, but he found her. Who else would she have fallen in love with?<br/>*SEVERE TRIGGER WARNING.*<br/>This has explicit descriptions of self harm and depression. Please, I care much more about your safety than I do this story, please, if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you.</p>
<p>Story title from "You found me" by The Fray.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Insecure, you found me.

"Aannd that's a wrap! Goodnight everybody!" 

Alex didn't stop to say goodbye, she didn't look around, she grabbed her bags and went home. In all honesty, she knew she shouldn't be treating the people who loved her that way, she had been hostile all week, and now, as it ended, she was looking forward to her day off. Alone.

As she made her way to her flat, she tried not to think about the sole custody agreement that was waiting for her there. She also tried to ignore the tears that ran down her face and the familiar voice behind her calling her name.

She locked herself into her flat, turned on the kettle and waited silently. She took deep breaths and tried to control the inevitable sobbing that currently made its way up her throat. She peered at the large bundle of papers across the table from her and lost it. 

"I'm sorry, Salome." She mumbled through tears.

Moments later, she heard knocking at her door.   
"Alex? Are you there? Is everything okay?" It was Matt. She tried to control her voice as best she could.  
"Yes, darling, everything's fine, if you don't mind, I'm a bit busy." She couldn't help the shaking of her tone.  
"Alex love, let me in."

She didn't need this, not now. She didn't need to be told what to do by a man half her age. She knew he didn't mean it that way, but she lost the interest to care.   
"Go home." She spoke sternly. 

She heard the reluctant sound of feet padding away.

It had been a long time since she genuinely hated herself. Her mind raced until it registered the whistling kettle. Without thinking, she picked up the hot handle and dropped it to the floor. Hot water and sharp glass attacked her bare feet and ankles.She yelped and ran into the bathroom to inspect the damage. 

A few creams and bandanas later, she found herself running a bath. 

She slipped in, and let the water encompass her. She began to shave her legs when a razor nicked her. Blood dripped delicately and she remembered how she used to deal with her depression. With no more thought, she sliced into her wrist. Once, twice, eight times. She dropped the blade and closed her eyes. Tears ran down her face and into the reddening water.   
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She mumbled as darkness overtook her.  
\------  
Matt hadn't known what to do. Alex was never cross with him. He decided to go back to Alex's.   
He knocked a few times before giving up and walking in. "Look I'm sorry-" He looked around in confusion. "Alex?" He knocked on the bathroom door. "Alex? Are you in there?" He waited few moments. "Listen just say something so I know you're alright." He knocked again. "Alright I'm coming in."

Nothing could have prepared him for what he found.   
Alex Kingston, in a pool of blood, pale faced with arms stained red.

He rushed over to her and checked her pulse. It was faint, but it was there. He picked her up, out of the water and brought her to the bedroom. He was trying so hard not to panic. "Here, Alex, how about we wake up, yeah?" He patted her face lightly. Under her bed, he retrieved her first kit. Pulling out all assortments of products, he began to work on her wrists. "Alex, love, wake up, come on." He found himself tearing up. 

By some blessing, she opened her eyes slightly. "Matt...? He straightened up and smiled encouragingly. "Yes, yes it's me."  
He held her hand softly. "I'm so cold." He stroked her hair, we'll fix that. He threw a blanket over her and kissed her cheek. Tears rolled down both their faces.   
"I'm so sorry, Matt."   
He kissed her palm.   
"Its fine, you're going to be fine."   
He looked at her with hope.   
"I love you, Lex."  
"You too, darling."  
\--  
TBC


End file.
